quinara: Buffy looks up with a bloom of yellow sparklies behind her. (Buffy sparkles)
Hello everyone! I have the S7 fic I've been promising...!! Not all of it today, as it comes in at around 90k words, but the first five chapters. These all work together as Part One of the fic, so are more of a connected whole than a set of individual chapters. There are five parts to the fic in total (this is the longest), and in an early plan I didn't want to separate anything into chapters at all. Obviously, I then realised you can't get 30k words on a single journal entry even if I wanted to, but what I'm posting today should basically fit together. (She says, dearly hoping the last-minute edits will let it all go up today.)

I won't say much more, but this beginning is also a bit of a slow burn, which is why I worry you might find it very dull if you take each chapter as its own thing... But anyway, what's happening: the fic is an AU from The Killer in Me, but only a strong AU by the end of Get It Done. We chop around a bit as things get going, but if you're worried you don't know what's happening, assume it's been like the show until it seems like otherwise. I'm very grateful to [livejournal.com profile] bogwitch for reading it all over and for everyone's encouragement!!! I like the fic and I hope you do to... It's fairly angsty, but hopefully not too harrowing as a romance. There is plenty of sex and violence, but, as you might expect from me, it's mostly chatting! :P

The rest should be posted in the next couple of weeks. ETA 15/08/15 - and look - [livejournal.com profile] bogwitch made me this beautiful banner!!!!!!!!!!!!

'I love you' is a thing you say to people who are dying

by Quinara

Season 7. Buffy/Spike. Some Watchers survived, because sometimes people do.

PART ONE (free association) )


[free association II]
quinara: Spike and Buffy approaching 'their' tree in AYW. (Spuffy tree)
What is this, I hear you ask? I cannot possibly have written fic again! Oh, but I have. As many of you have already gathered, I managed to pull my finger out earlier in the week and post a new fic to [livejournal.com profile] seasonal_spuffy. If you are familiar with stuff of mine, it's possible the general thrust of characterisation and themes are a little tired, but hopefully there's quite a lot to entertain as well!! It makes me think that I really want to get this other project that's been on the bubble for god know's how long finished so I can properly commit to thinking about other writing projects and coming up with something new about something. Also, because I seem to be missing the bus on the comics' investment in Spuffy, though my issues there are another story.

Anyway! This is the fic - on LJ and AO3.

By the click of someone else's slippers

S6 | NC-17(ish) | ~34,000 words total in seven chapters

Spike has spent the last few months in an AU LA with no memory of Buffy or even Sunnydale. Buffy comes to rescue him, but Spike’s not sure why she bothers. At the end of the day, though, it’s really just a rewrite of Smashed

On LJ @ Seasonal Spuffy! | At the AO3!

quinara: Spike drinking from a blood bag. (Spike blood bag)
So, something came up and I was inspired to write a fic. It may or may not be humorous! Giles POV, sort-of Spuffy, 1300 odd words, PG-13 for suggestiveness. It's the sequel/companion to Deliciously Self-Centred, which you may remember was about Jaffa Cakes, right at the end of S7...

Credit to [livejournal.com profile] hobbituk for the title...!

Dark and Fruity... And all mine!

The end of days was due, but Giles was a man on a mission. It had been three months since his last Jaffa Cake, and the time had come. When the groceries had first been brought back, he’d resisted in the name of decorum, but now he had the chance to make good on the promise to himself that he would have one last moment of pleasure before the apocalypse.

... )

quinara: Meg from Meg and Mog presenting her cake: 'ta da!' (Meg and Mog Meg ta da)
So, I should have been attending a conference today, but I wanted to have a break in the end, since it's WriterconUK next week and then I am on holiday! (An extended break, you might say, but not one that means doing nothing and faffing around in my pyjamas.) I was inspired by a post on [livejournal.com profile] rbfvid's journal which had pics of Emma Caulfield and Nick Brendon looking very Anya and Xandery for the present day.

There isn't much about the shorts, but I couldn't get this little scene out of my head, in which Xander confronts the fact he's hit the age of one of the flashfowards in Hells Bells. This could be from any 'verse where he went through with the wedding and Anya didn't die, though for me personally that means it's actually part of Turn and Face the Strain and its final epilogue. I am actually a Xander/Anya person as much as I can be pro anything beyond the Spuffy (although this fic has been kept Spuffy free just in case you want to imagine that it isn't obviously going on in the background). But anyway, its about 900 words, PG fluff, because there wasn't much else to say. It might well need a better title. Enjoy!

To Have and to Hold.

He was reaching for the remote when the déjà vu hit. ... )

quinara: Buffy's sad-looking profile from Villains. (Buffy profile)
So, I posted about some fag ends fic earlier, but here is a project that was for today. I was hoping for something deep, but it's mostly just a bit of entertainment.

Set right around now in Summer 2014, at Dawn's grad student house somewhere in North London (maybe Camden?). Following a rough sketch of some of my other post-Chosen universes, but it's really not worth worrying about that. PG; 3.5K words; you know the drill. Let me know what you think!

ETA: Ooh, though I did forget to say that of course the fanon that Giles is a Chelsea fan has been shamelessly borrowed from [livejournal.com profile] paratti, [livejournal.com profile] ljs and Magpie (whose LJ name I've never known); whichever one of you came up with it back in the day for some excellent Giles-Spike banter. He's got to support somebody!

Whether there will be more winters.
seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam ... carpe diem - Horace Odes I 11

It's Summer, 2014. Buffy and Spike broke up a few years ago; now they're most likely getting back together.


1/1 )

quinara: Spike smoking on a crate. (Spike crate)
I wrote a fic for [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends, for the prompt 'the best is yet to come', which is apparently Frank Sinatra's epitaph.

The Best is Yet to Come

During is quest for the soul, Spike is introduced to the First Evil... It actually saves his life?

PG-13; ~850 words; generally angsty and stuff.

I haven't had anything else to post about that isn't sad, so I haven't been, but I've been annoyed about my lack of fic for ages, so I'm glad to have some! There should actually be some more tonight, because I am really that bored of my characters sitting around doing nothing, and I'm not sure there's any way at all that I can wank it for fag ends, so I'll be posting here! Don't get confused and think it's this one again. :D

It is very hot.
quinara: Tara walking in the Slayer's desert. (Restless desert)
The hot day yesterday has left me massively craving salad and fruit, yet all I had was chocolate and noodles. But now I am literally working my way through a punnet of tasty only-worth-it-from-the-UK goodness. (Because Waitrose, where even basics become luxuries. I should write taglines. But seriously, the premium is so worth it; these are like confectionery they're so perfect.) All I want is a decent milkshake recipe and these things in one of those giant diner glasses... Or just more of them. They're on 3 for 2.

But I shouldn't let the tastiness distract me from the fact I also wrote fic! For this week's [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends prompts 'Land Rover' and 'A Sudden Sandstorm', but it all got a bit long. If you happen to remember the sort of stuff I wrote in the early-mid 2000s, you'll realise that this shamelessly pulls from the same wellspring - we have Buffy post-Chosen, deserts, dreamscapes, cameos from the First Slayer, Spike in one way or another and a certain ambiguity of whether it's angst or fluff. It was fun!

Here on the [livejournal.com profile] sb_ashtray, soon to be on AO3 or else below! AO3 will get a summary when I can work it out; post-Chosen Buffy can't work out whether she wants to grieve or not, whether she is grieving or not; drives around and has a dream. She's hearing Spike's voice, but that's probably not him. PG-13, because there's swearing and it's a bit sad; c.3500 words. Boom, plz enjoy!

Sunstroke. )

quinara: Little cartoon girl from the Devics' Distant Radio EP cover. (Devics Distant Radio)
I'm never here; I'm not up to date with anything; my last Seasonal Spuffy fic was written in an even bigger unbeta'd rush than usual; I'm not entirely sure I've managed to address the criticisms I got on a version of this eight years ago - but how could I resist, nonetheless? Please bring out your concrit and anything you've ever thought but didn't want to say at the time!

my thread here

Or just say it here. I'm going to try and think of things to say for other people, though I might leave it a little while so the timestamping doesn't give it away...

*nomnomnom crit*
quinara: Little cartoon girl from the Devics' Distant Radio EP cover. (Devics Distant Radio)
So, last week I posted a fic for [livejournal.com profile] seasonal_spuffy. There a four chapters: one, two, three, four.

It's called In Remission, and this is the summary I posted with it at the time:

In the five years Spike's been missing, the world around Buffy has irrevocably changed. The general population has woken up to vampires' existence and the kill count has dropped way down. She's sharing a house with a soulless vampire, still going by the name of Faith. But what does Spike have to do with it? And what does it mean for their future?

The thing is, I kind of came up with this summary a while before I'd written the ending and really worked out what the bloody heck I was babbling on about. I may have slightly written the whole thing in a forced rush. But I'm quite happy with it, all told, so I would love for you to read it! I do not know what title and wankier, more characteristic summary I would have come up with had I had more time, but I did realise eventually that the whole thing is a Foucault love-in. I don't even know where to begin explaining, but may I at least offer this quote from a conversation with Gilles Deleuze:

The other day I was speaking to a woman who bad been in prison and she was saying: "Imagine, that at the age of forty, I was punished one day with a meal of dry bread." What is striking about this story is not the childishness of the exercise of power but the cynicism with which power is exercised as power, in the most archaic, puerile, infantile manner. As children we learn what it means to be reduced to bread and water. Prison is the only place where power is manifested in its naked state, in its most excessive form, and where it is justified as moral force. "I am within my rights to punish you because you know that it is criminal to rob and kill . . ." ... What is fascinating about prisons is that, for once, power doesn't hide or mask itself; it reveals itself as tyranny pursued into the tiniest details; it is cynical and at the same time pure and entirely "justified," because its practice can be totally formulated within the framework of morality. Its brutal tyranny consequently appears as the serene domination of Good over Evil, of order over disorder.

Brutal, n'est-ce pas? I want to paste some more quotes, to encompass a bit more social theory/theory of human nature, but I can't find anything specific enough. But basically everything he says is gold. And dangerous. And what happens when Buffy is older and wiser and stops believing Chomsky and has to face this shit?

... That's basically it. And the quote really isn't that appropriate anyway. But stuff happens!

quinara: Spike smoking on a crate. (Spike crate)
This really doesn't make up for how dry wot my pen haz been all year, but never mind. Story! Spike in S6; bit of swearing, not really much violence. Moody bollocks about ethics. Etc.

Here on Fag Ends, or else below.


"Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness." - Immanuel Kant

Spike could never really get his head around the point of Angel’s soul curse. All those shiny morals, heaped on the baddest of the bad to keep him down the way no chains ever could… But then that ridiculous little get-out clause. Perfect happiness? In conception the whole idea was a walking pile of bollocks, let alone a worthy guardian for the depths of depravity turning and slithering in that wanker’s heart.

But then maybe that was the point. ... )
quinara: Buffy standing at the back of her house, looking grumpy by a tree. (Buffy Flooded)
The weather has resolved from scorching into a rather perfect (if elusive) British summertime, where it isn't so hot you feel uncomfortable just sitting in a room without air conditioning, but you can wear a t-shirt and jeans and have the windows open and just generally enjoy a light breeze the whole time. Well done, weather.

In less good news, my monitor decided it didn't want to receive an HDMI signal anymore, so I'm currently on my telly (which is a bit rubbish at rendering text and far too bright), until HP send me a replacement next week. Although I'm not sure that's not going to fail in three months time either, but I live in hope.

In other news entirely, I wrote some fic for the first time in ages. After a run-in at a nightclub, Buffy laments getting old...

Running Up that Hill.

Oh, and I seem to be getting into coconut water?
quinara: Spike dressed up and looking down, trying to be sexy. (Spike thinking)
I wrote a fic on Saturday! It's been a while, so it's nice to be back. (There's something else wurbling in the background, but I don't know if it's going to become anything any time soon. And there's another project, which might have been slightly scuppered by the death of my laptop, but also might be given new life somehow.)

For one of the latest [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends prompts (What if Buffy and/or Spike were split in two (like Xander in The Replacement)?), this is around 4,500 words and so was initially posted to the [livejournal.com profile] sb_ashtray, here. I've also just put it up on the AO3, here. There might still be some typos in it, but hopefully not too many - and I can only thank [livejournal.com profile] relurker for pointing out that I'd been writing 'drawer' as 'draw' (in my accent they're homophones, I promise!)... Please do point out anything else you spot! But otherwise hopefully enjoy the fic. :)

Broken by Degree.

Instead of using the trigger, what if Robin Wood used Toth's magic rod from The Replacement to split Spike's demon from his soul?

“What the bloody hell is this?” Spike asked as he walked through the door. Wood’s garage was covered in crosses, no inch unsanctified. It was… A bit unnerving, to say the least.

With the unwavering expression of a man with a plan, Wood shrugged. ... )

quinara: Echo from Dollhouse standing next to Wendy/Caroline (Echo purple)
[livejournal.com profile] eilowyn did a banner! Post-apocalyptic Dawn gen; slightly warningsy, but not in a way that that's the focus of the fic. It's banter, really - though for some reason I decided it didn't want a capital A.


I fear I may really have run out of things to say, otherwise. Things continue apace.
quinara: Buffy's sad-looking profile from Villains. (Buffy profile)
Blimey, they've jazzed up the previouslies and next-weeks on the Bake Off, haven't they? I was getting Apprentice vibes tonight... It was brilliant!!

In other news, one of the important light bulbs in my house has just gone (ie. the one that lights half the downstairs... To be fair, we don't have many lights, so they're all pretty important. This one is particularly annoying right now). But I have also finished that fic I mentioned the other day! I should have realised this with [community profile] seasonal_spuffy, but my ability to obsess over a fic I'm posting has reached quite horrific levels in recent times, so the only way through the continuous re-thinking and over-reading and editing is to buckle down and get the whole thing out in one. And yet I try so hard to be normal. :(

Anyway, if it matters to you, dear reader, could you please, please tell me if you will only look at this if I post it out over on this journal as well as [livejournal.com profile] sb_ashtray, because I can never tell if re-posting's worth bothering about. Basically, I worry sometimes that I'm spamming/doing some sort of equivalent flist-shouting about myself to post things in multiple places, and I happen to be the sort of person that will happily wander down links wherever they take me. But I'm extremely happy to bring anything over here if you want to see it in my home environment/on Dreamwidth/whatever! The fic's still only a click away. Sometimes I feel like I should do a poll...

Otherwise, this story is ~16,000 words long, rated R (reasonably strongly-ish?), written to the prompt 'burnt out'. It needs none of the AO3-standard warnings and is a standalone you can nonetheless read in the context of my generally vignette-based series about Spike and Buffy's telephone contact during+after Angel S5, and then their merry life together in London. It's angsty, but I'm quite fond of it! (Though I would say that.)


What it is to Burn.
After three years in a long distance relationship, Buffy’s the one who cracks first.

[one] [two] [three] [four]


ETA: Oh, but you can read it on the AO3 now too.
quinara: Buffy's sad-looking profile from Villains. (Buffy profile)
I wrote a fic! And because I get some sort of masochistic thrill from posting where no one will see things, I've put it up (for the moment) at [livejournal.com profile] sb_ashtray, [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends' new sister comm! No specified pairings or characters, no limits, just responses to the Fag Ends prompts of yore, whenever you get round to it. The fic itself is Spuffy nonetheless and the first part of four. The whole thing should come in around 16,000 words, probably just R. It's the turning point in the London futureverse of mine where Spuffy go from their long distance relationship to living together, because that's always something I've wanted to work out how it happens. Check it out!

What it is to Burn.
After three years in a long distance relationship, Buffy’s the one who cracks first.

(I am in such a weird mood today. It's been massively stormy and I made the mistake of getting MineCraft (the Technic Pack in particular). I'm too much of a noob to go on the multiplayer server, so I've been pottering around this empty world entirely on my own, full of dreams of building some sort of steampunk magic railway but mostly unable to find anything I'm looking for and failing to set up my one machine properly. And then dying the moment I actually get my hands on some diamonds. It doesn't help that my laptop's too rickety to run the game smoothly, so it's actually physically tiring to play. Sigh.)
quinara: Illyria looking serious in bright light. (Illyria shine)
I wrote a fic for [community profile] sb_fag_ends:

Super Saturday and the Sloughing of Sun-Dried Sloth.

In which Spike watches the Olympics, Buffy vanquishes some tomato demons and everyone is grateful for iPlayer.

Super tame; slightly sweary; tries to be amusing. Set vaguely in my London futureverse a couple of weeks after an apocalypse (and one week into the Olympics).

I've also been watching Veep, ie. Armando Ianucci's US pseudo-reinvention of The Thick of It... Did anybody see it? What did you think of it? I really like it. It's different to The Thick of It (the return of which I'm massively excited for), but still very entertaining. And there are motorcades! I can't seem to find any non-UK reviews very easily, though I'm sure they must exist.
quinara: Spike from Sleeper, looking dismayed against a green background. (Spike green)
I wrote a poem for [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends! As I say over there, I've been threatening to write some angsty-angry Spike POV poetry set in S6 during the sex-fest ever since I wrote this fic. This isn't quite that, but it sort of is. Probably quite far along in the relationship, I'd put this just before Dead Things or so. Rated R for being very much definitely crude without being particularly extensive or precise. Not work safe!! Not very happy either, but just about free of stuff that needs a warning on AO3. For the prompt 'Starting a sexual relationship/Being strong in the face of temptation'.

so now begins the waiting. )
quinara: Echo from Dollhouse standing next to Wendy/Caroline (Echo purple)
Here is some tasty gen wot I wrote for the The Awesome Ladies Ficathon and Art-a-thon. Both things are PG and wouldn't need any of the warnings on AO3. Though they're both a bit serious. Ish.

First of all, for [livejournal.com profile] xlivvielockex: BTVS/ATS - Buffy Summers and Cordelia Chase - What if Buffy and Cordy WERE REALLY sisters (with really different hair)?

Set in an AU Normal Again.

As Simple as BCD. )


and then for [livejournal.com profile] brutti_ma_buoni: Angel the Series - Lilah Morgan (Lilah/Wesley if you like) - when you know you're not in control

Set not very long pre-series.

Controlling the Uncontrollables. )

quinara: No Kicking Penguins (Penguins)
Well, it seems to have taken me nearly four hours, door to door, but then having a snooze on a sunny train with the windows open is one of the more pleasant ways to spend an afternoon, in my opinion. It was a lovely end to a lovely weekend; I feel so relaxed now, like I've been on a lovely holiday that did what holidays are supposed to do! Considering I've spent the week frazzled and sleepless and ill (as I've been telling everyone for the last couple of days, in my croaky voice, pitching in and out, I'm iiiiiiill...!!!), I feel very much rejuvenated.

Although, now I'm back inside after being out/on a ventilated rather than air conditioned train, I can feel the first scratchings of hay fever round my eyes... But I'm ignoring that for now.

We had many great talks/chitchats, including a workshop where we wrote an exciting bad!fic, complete with songs, for which I spent far, far too long playing with [livejournal.com profile] kazzy_cee's iPad in my own little world. I'll put up the fruits of that when the whole of the fic-stravaganza can be enjoyed, but here also is something else: inspired by [livejournal.com profile] speakr2customrs' talk on death in fanfic, a Beowulf-style epic-heroic death scene for Pingu (ish). (Although, now that I've looked up the episode which scarred me as a child and was clearly the inspiration for this - see below - I feel like I've been horrifically cruel...)

Pingu vs. Ice Dragon.

So Pingu ventured from his icy home
To waddle through the snow, Antarctic mist -
But there he found a dragon, claws like knives
To freeze and tear the flesh of penguins brave.
Still Pingu fought, with beak and magic spells:
Great fire flared to burn the air with flame.
And yet - the dragon roared, reared up, his eyes
A charcoal black, too dark against the sky
Before he fell upon the penguin, caught
In fear, his feathers stiff. One strike, and then
It was no more again that Pingu saw
His mum and dad at home, the igloo's warmth;
His body fell, its final KARK a sigh,
Which whispered softly on the icy breeze.


quinara: Sheep on a hillside with a smiley face. (Default)

December 2015

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