1. This is one of those realizations that falls somewhere between 'epiphany' and 'no duh, you're just noticing this?' Which is that my creative energy ebbs and flows a lot -- the energy involved in just being enthused and inventing things, but also the follow through to sit down and put things into words. And when I'm in a high-energy stage I run around and commit to as many things as I can think of and if it's something I can do immediately
, great, but if it's not
I end up in this energy ebb and I'm super over-committed and I just want to hide. So -- that may explain to some of you the way that I tend to approach projects, and how if I'm really keen to work on something on or discuss something with you and then drop off the map, I wasn't faking and I don't hate you, I'm just bad at portioning out brainspace and creative time. For me, it means -- well, being more aware of the commitments that I make when I'm on the high-energy point of a cycle, but also to understand why the part of it where I want to hide happens and not beat myself up for it. Just learn to account for it.
2. One of the things I did when I was being energetic a while ago was sign up for the Blue Christmeth
Breaking Bad fan exchange -- and I got a very lovely Gus/Max in Chile backstory fic btw, The Sea Left Behind
, which you should read if you love tragic queer South American drug lords (my favorite detail is that Gus basically gets into drug smuggling because it exasperates him to realize other people are doing it so inefficiently and, you know, one of the reasons I love Gus is his fierce competence in the midst of the "Walt and Jesse Suck at Doing Crime" show.)
But anyway, before I defaulted I did rewatch a lot of late-season BrBa and I have totally plotted a canon divergent story where Skyler and Lydia Rodarte-Quayle sneak off to a creative writing conference and have an affair. (Seriously, I described the logistics of the thing in such detail that bessiemaemucho
asked me whether I am currently having an affair; in any case, we concluded that I am better at crime than either Walter or Lydia, though probably not Skyler, who is the one of the three I would least like to match my wits against.) Anyway, the story would be from Skyler's POV, and Lydia exasperates
her and drives her crazy by being tense all the time, but also, Lydia's tension is something she can actually do something about in a way she can't deal with Walter. I don't know, I can't figure out whether this was serious or crack fic-y or whether I should even try to reconcile with canon, but it did make me think about what it is I like about Lydia. Skyler and Marie are sometimes exasperating but still really flawed and complicated and interesting women and Lydia is. . .basically not
, she's the Evil Corporate Bitch stock villain, yet (partly because of Laura Fraser's performance, which is somewhat mannered but also very precise
), her manifest anxiety, the way she copes or doesn't cope with it, is something that looks very personally familiar to me, and that we don't get to see in sympathetic characters. Lydia on paper really isn't that complex, and she's certainly not morally defensible (even relative to Walter and Mike and Gus; she's better than Todd and his gang maybe in being not an actual Nazi that we know of, but essentially she's a completely indefensible person).
3. I recently watched all of My So-Called Life
and somebody must have written some meta about how Jordan Catalano and Jesse Pinkman are basically the same character trapped in very different genres. Also about how obviously Brian Krakow wants Jordan to fuck him.
4. The real actual fannish Renaissance thing I want to talk about, though is movieverse Howard Stark, who showed up on Agent Carter
this week and engaged in a fairly massive retcon ( spoilers for Agent Carter, though I'm pretty sure I'm gonna talk about this one outside the cut before long )
5. I briefly tried to use tumblr again, but I can't even figure out how to search for a tag and find stuff I like anymore? Like, I type in "Howard Stark" (shut up) and get a lot of texty posts thrown at me in a vaguely table-ish form and I don't know how to parse them. I'd ask people to help me use tumblr better but then the stuff I want to read wouldn't be there :(. [ETA: okay, I sort of get it
6. I also got a playstation 3 and a cat, and stultiloquentia
has me watching Glee
is sort of moving in. I should post more.