Questions for this Sunday

1. Why does Sainsbury's use milk in their flapjacks? It's sickly and completely unnecessary.
2. Why am I so sensitive to the taste of milk in sweet things? This is like when college ruined baklava by lacing the whole lot with cream.
3. Why are ablative absolutes so inelegant in English? I don't think I should be penalised in a classics essay for clearly having read too much stuff that uses them.
4. Why doesn't anyone like gerunds? They only want to be free...