You wrote a sestina! A Wesley-and-Lilah sestina!!! Wow wow wow. What a perfect choice of form for this relationship, and what amazing execution.
I love the "image" theme, which emphasizes, for me, the brittleness and chill of their relationship as well as its deadness, its inability to change, grow, be warm and green and pliant. They are static. Hah, and that's literally how Lilah ends up, isn't it? She dies, and then is forced to live in her own unchanging image at the moment of her death forever after.
If all my body’s blood had bled away, Would that dry corpse have painted true an image Of my life? The memories fill my dreams sometimes; I wake up dying in your arms.
I love this bit, especially the last line's multiple interpretations, including the sexual pun.
The characterization of Lilah as a jackdaw with a treasure is wonderful.
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Date: 24/02/2010 02:37 (UTC)I love the "image" theme, which emphasizes, for me, the brittleness and chill of their relationship as well as its deadness, its inability to change, grow, be warm and green and pliant. They are static. Hah, and that's literally how Lilah ends up, isn't it? She dies, and then is forced to live in her own unchanging image at the moment of her death forever after.
If all my body’s blood had bled away,
Would that dry corpse have painted true an image
Of my life? The memories fill my dreams sometimes;
I wake up dying in your arms.
I love this bit, especially the last line's multiple interpretations, including the sexual pun.
The characterization of Lilah as a jackdaw with a treasure is wonderful.