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quinaraI was inspired towards another Nertz to You, Joss Whedon fic - only I'm not quite sure what it is. Comedy, maybe? Probably one of those strange comedies on BBC Three where you can't quite work out whether it's funny or not. Hope it's in some way entertaining...! (And please do tell me where and why my German's wrong.)
Nothing deserving an AO3 warning, nor a rating higher than G. Approaching 700 words.
Vevvy's Bad Week.
Vevvy Chetwynd-Hughes was playing Plants vs. Zombies when her iPhone rang. Sleeping on the bunk below, Mummy mumbled something as the train rumbled on, but she didn’t seem to wake up.
All the same, Vevvy answered the phone cautiously with a whisper, “Hello?”
Sounding like she was in a club somewhere, Milly nevertheless greeted her brightly back – “Hello, Vevvy! How are the hols?” And then she was carrying on, “Now, I have to be quick, because I’m having cocktails with the Westminster set, but I was wondering how you’d feel about going up to Shropshire next week? Evelyn has an open house and he told me to mention it, because, well, I think we all remember how much you love the quad bikes...”
Her tone was sly, and it was true that last time Vevvy had got rather worse for wear and driven one into the orchard fence; but that she loved them still held true… “Oh, Milly, that would be wonderful,” she began, “but, the thing is - ” Sigh. “I’m actually in Germany at the moment. Or possibly Austria; we just set off from Munich.” The train shook over another bump on the line. “Daddy loaned the house to some Americans for a while – I think they might be shooting a movie, or having some sort of Poirot-inspired Murder Mystery party – so Mummy and I took a little holiday... We’ll be in Rome in the morning.”
“Oh, how lovely!” Milly cooed, at odds with Vevvy's tone. “And here I am stuck in rainy London; you know, with the weather as it is I'm beginning to think someone's forgotten Britain doesn't have a monsoon season! Anyway, you’re on the train then, I take it?”
Vevvy looked around their private sleeper compartment, curling up tighter in her fleece blanket. She was having a nice time, but really she’d have preferred to be back in her own bed - or in a nice hotel - where it wasn't quite so cold. Where Daddy got these ideas from she really didn't know, nor where he found people who gave her Barbour such strange looks - but, still, you couldn’t complain. “Yes,” she confirmed. “The Deutsche Bahn are being fabulous as usual. No problems at all – and after the Eurostar to Paris, well, I must say –”
Unfortunately, Vevvy never got a chance to say, because quite suddenly the train was slowing, ending at a halt.
There was silence, and then –
Bing-bong!
“Meine Damen und Herren,” came a voice crackling over the loudspeaker. It sounded bemused. “Entschuldigen Sie bitte die Störung. Ah, wir fahren jetzt in der Nähe von Österreich, aber es scheint, dass… die Bahngleise vor uns – zerstört worden sind. Ich kann es fast nicht glauben, aber ich höre von Innsbruck, dass die Gleise – enden? Irgendwo nicht weit von hier. Wir versuchen, das Problem zu lösen, aber wir müssen derweil hier bleiben… Ich werde Ihnen das Neueste berichten, wenn ich – mehr weiß. Ah –” The voice took an audible breath. “Ladies and gentlemen…”
“Genevieve…?” Mummy’s voice floated towards her, as the distracted driver attempted the same message in English. “What’s going on? Why have we stopped?”
“Sorry, Milly – got to go,” Vevvy said quickly before ringing off. “I’m not sure, Mummy…” She listened to the English, just to make sure.
…have been – vandalism…
Then she laughed, because, just like the driver, she couldn’t quite believe it. “He’s saying that – the tracks have been destroyed, Mummy. They end not far from here? No one knows why.”
“Well I…” Mummy was on her feet now, slipping into slippers and looking out of the window. “You think they could have told somebody back in – oh, what’s that out there?” She pointed her finger at the glass, so, turning over in her bunk, Vevvy looked too.
Somewhere, it seemed, a train was moving – for there was a light, and then the sound of a horn. It passed like a ghost, just visible through the trees, and looked nothing like any train Vevvy had travelled on in her life.
The night’s chill got to her then and she shivered, looking down as Mummy looked up. Why the sight filled her with such foreboding she wasn’t sure, but combined with the vandalism it was enough to make her say, gloomy and uncertain, “I think we should have stayed at home…”
Nothing deserving an AO3 warning, nor a rating higher than G. Approaching 700 words.
Vevvy's Bad Week.
Vevvy Chetwynd-Hughes was playing Plants vs. Zombies when her iPhone rang. Sleeping on the bunk below, Mummy mumbled something as the train rumbled on, but she didn’t seem to wake up.
All the same, Vevvy answered the phone cautiously with a whisper, “Hello?”
Sounding like she was in a club somewhere, Milly nevertheless greeted her brightly back – “Hello, Vevvy! How are the hols?” And then she was carrying on, “Now, I have to be quick, because I’m having cocktails with the Westminster set, but I was wondering how you’d feel about going up to Shropshire next week? Evelyn has an open house and he told me to mention it, because, well, I think we all remember how much you love the quad bikes...”
Her tone was sly, and it was true that last time Vevvy had got rather worse for wear and driven one into the orchard fence; but that she loved them still held true… “Oh, Milly, that would be wonderful,” she began, “but, the thing is - ” Sigh. “I’m actually in Germany at the moment. Or possibly Austria; we just set off from Munich.” The train shook over another bump on the line. “Daddy loaned the house to some Americans for a while – I think they might be shooting a movie, or having some sort of Poirot-inspired Murder Mystery party – so Mummy and I took a little holiday... We’ll be in Rome in the morning.”
“Oh, how lovely!” Milly cooed, at odds with Vevvy's tone. “And here I am stuck in rainy London; you know, with the weather as it is I'm beginning to think someone's forgotten Britain doesn't have a monsoon season! Anyway, you’re on the train then, I take it?”
Vevvy looked around their private sleeper compartment, curling up tighter in her fleece blanket. She was having a nice time, but really she’d have preferred to be back in her own bed - or in a nice hotel - where it wasn't quite so cold. Where Daddy got these ideas from she really didn't know, nor where he found people who gave her Barbour such strange looks - but, still, you couldn’t complain. “Yes,” she confirmed. “The Deutsche Bahn are being fabulous as usual. No problems at all – and after the Eurostar to Paris, well, I must say –”
Unfortunately, Vevvy never got a chance to say, because quite suddenly the train was slowing, ending at a halt.
There was silence, and then –
Bing-bong!
“Meine Damen und Herren,” came a voice crackling over the loudspeaker. It sounded bemused. “Entschuldigen Sie bitte die Störung. Ah, wir fahren jetzt in der Nähe von Österreich, aber es scheint, dass… die Bahngleise vor uns – zerstört worden sind. Ich kann es fast nicht glauben, aber ich höre von Innsbruck, dass die Gleise – enden? Irgendwo nicht weit von hier. Wir versuchen, das Problem zu lösen, aber wir müssen derweil hier bleiben… Ich werde Ihnen das Neueste berichten, wenn ich – mehr weiß. Ah –” The voice took an audible breath. “Ladies and gentlemen…”
“Genevieve…?” Mummy’s voice floated towards her, as the distracted driver attempted the same message in English. “What’s going on? Why have we stopped?”
“Sorry, Milly – got to go,” Vevvy said quickly before ringing off. “I’m not sure, Mummy…” She listened to the English, just to make sure.
…have been – vandalism…
Then she laughed, because, just like the driver, she couldn’t quite believe it. “He’s saying that – the tracks have been destroyed, Mummy. They end not far from here? No one knows why.”
“Well I…” Mummy was on her feet now, slipping into slippers and looking out of the window. “You think they could have told somebody back in – oh, what’s that out there?” She pointed her finger at the glass, so, turning over in her bunk, Vevvy looked too.
Somewhere, it seemed, a train was moving – for there was a light, and then the sound of a horn. It passed like a ghost, just visible through the trees, and looked nothing like any train Vevvy had travelled on in her life.
The night’s chill got to her then and she shivered, looking down as Mummy looked up. Why the sight filled her with such foreboding she wasn’t sure, but combined with the vandalism it was enough to make her say, gloomy and uncertain, “I think we should have stayed at home…”
(no subject)
Date: 01/02/2011 17:02 (UTC)I don't get all the references - I'm not up on any but the major plot points of season 8 and then there's the cultural gap, but there are several amusing details that I think I do get.
The comedy aspect for most Germans will probably be that there is someone around who says "The Deutsche Bahn are being fabulous as usual."
You'd be hard-pressed to find someone around Germany willing to put Deutsche Bahn and fabulous in the same sentence and no it doesn't have anything to do with the recent train crash. Privatization has not improved the service.... What a surprise!
(no subject)
Date: 01/02/2011 17:21 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 01/02/2011 18:06 (UTC)Yep, the track disappearing is certainly an inconvenience, just like trains in which the air-conditioning died in the summer heat with no possibility of opening any windows leading to people collapsing in temperatures of about 60 °C and in autumn there were the - to you no doubt familiar - 'leaves on the tracks' and well, winter, the whole system just collapsed and in between the trains didn't run on time because half of them were in maintenance.
In general, the trains are fairly clean and modern, but in the last couple of years moaning about DB has become commonplace. When I lived in England in 96/97, I was happy with the trains - definitely not as bad as I had heard!
(no subject)
Date: 01/02/2011 18:27 (UTC)*wince* Things get bad on the Tube sometimes, but I don't think it's ever got that hot. I didn't realise you couldn't open the windows at all... If you're planning on operating air conditioning all the time then I suppose it makes sense, but you really need that air conditioning to work...
There are probably good and bad points to both systems, like everything in life - just when you go abroad you're so used to things being bad in one area that, when that area happens to be the place another company/system excells, it seems like perfection. :D