quinara: Spike drinking from a blood bag. (Spike blood bag)
So, the last couple of weeks have been slightly underblogged... It was my birthday yesterday (thank you all for the good wishes!!!), which involved a return to the parents' homestead and a nice lunch, including pudding wine, the leftovers of which is calling my name from the fridge. It was however, also an hour too short, glad as I am about the clocks going forward (light! Till 7.30 in the evening!! Even on horrible cold and gloomy days like this one!!), and also rainy. But never mind!

I also managed to graduate from my PhD last weekend, finally (after submitting last June), so I am now a Doctor! Updating the world is a pain in the arse, so I mostly haven't bothered, but I did buy a mattress last week, and when the man asked me if I was a Miss or a Mrs I got to say the immortal line of 'Erm, it's actually Dr...'. I was then told that I looked quite young for a doctor, but I don't care. The tyranny of Miss has ended and the great world of joy has begun. I must tell the bank. Not sure when.

The painting of my flat is also complete - and by the end of next week it may even be the case that there is some useful bits of furniture in it. So I am rather happy.

I have committed to Seasonal Spuffy but am not sure about my ability to come up with anything (sing me a new one, they say!). I had one idea, but I don't think it's going anywhere, and then another idea that [livejournal.com profile] bogwitch helped with which is very silly, and I am going to see where I get with that, though I fear I am not writing humorously enough with it at the moment. (Humour! Where did you go???) There's no reason why I can't produce a story and I want to produce a story. I shall have to figure out the Spuffy of it as I go along, like I always did when I just came up with a random premise and went with it. So there. Watch this space.
quinara: Buffy looks up with a bloom of yellow sparklies behind her. (Buffy sparkles)
(I could do proper Latin, but seriously; how wank would that be?)

So, I had grand plans about what I was going to write in this post. As far as I can tell, several people that I like and respect in fandom (both on my flist and off) have been betrayed deeply in recent days. And, for the most part, I thought it was best that I didn't get involved, because I don't know the person whose integrity has been brought into question and surely I could only ever make things worse. But at the same time, how can anyone be neutral in situations like this? Moreover, as I went through iterations of what I might say, the more I realised that the purpose of my post (this post) would always be straightforward. Because, when I think back on all the times I've been betrayed by friends (which, if you look at my friendship choices from the age of five, has happened a lot), I realise that one of the things that made it most difficult was that every time it made me isolated, in my own head or else within the group that were immediately affected. And while online I am something of a jaded has-been, in RL I have been fucked over, crying in public, angry and confused.

And you might all think I'm wrong. You might be reading this, thinking 'fuck off, Quin; my friend didn't betray me'. And honestly I don't mind. The jaded fandomite that I am would say that is a pattern which has been played many times before in the last 10+ years. And I don't like this friend of yours. But that's not really important. The important thing, which I feel I must say in this public post, which the wine urges me on to say (I had a do at work), is please, don't let this define your fandom experience. Or else close it down and cut you off from everywhere else. The rest of us randomers will still be here; you are still with us and part of us and we will keep chatting to you about random stuff. People like me will be crap at it, partly because we've been burnt enough times to keep to ourselves and the people we know well already, but we will be here. This isn't the end, and we are friends/friends-of-friends of you for you.

I mean, I speak for myself here, but I feel like others will agree...?

Anyway, this may be pointless. But this is a post. Because I'm crap at keeping things implicit, and I do really think you've been manipulated. I might also be wrong, and if you believe I am then I want you to know that I think we still have a friendship which is viable.

(And that goes for the lot of you, also, who have no idea what the fuck I'm on about. You are the great internet, wot iz my friends, no matter the differences of opinions that might otherwise split us apart.)

Urgh... This is really dire, isn't it? Still. I'm clicking the button anyway.
quinara: Mog from Meg and Mog swimming in a diving suit. (Meg and Mog Mog underwater)
Please entertain me by choosing a number and a character/pairing so I can find out what my headcanon actually is (I think there's quite a lot tucked away)...

1. sleep head canon
2. sad headcanon
3. happy headcanon
4. angry/violent headcanon
5. Sex headcanon
6. Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon
7. romantic headcanon
8. family headcanon
9. friendship headcanon
10. quirks/hobbies headcanon
11. likes/dislikes headcanon
12. childhood headcanon
13. old age/aging headcanon
14. cooking/food headcanon
15. appearance headcanon
16. random headcanon
17. any other question of your choosing

(Answers probably in the comments because I'm not that organised!)
quinara: Wishverse Buffy in a white frame. (Buffy Wish white box)
So ages ago I gave up on my Rough Trade New Tracks of the Week subscription, because it was only producing crap and I never had time to go through what came in anyway. However, that does mean that there are some gems hidden on my iPod in the depths.

Because loooook! (/liiiiiiiisten!) Bat for Lashes finally found someone to make her a decent backing track! I knew I recognised that voice; and this is so much better than any of her singles. TOY are shit on their own as well; it's a match made in heaven: where's the album?

quinara: Profile shot of Cassie from Skins, with lots of hair and a hat. (Cassie hat)
Just to say that seeing posts from my French flisties makes me think I should say I'm thinking of you, everyone and us all. I really liked this compilation of cartoons that have been produced around the world in reaction to what happened:

quinara: Spike smoking on a crate. (Spike crate)
People, it's serious: inflation has hit the jelly bean world.

I was just buying a bag of Jelly Belly Sours and admiring the new packaging they've put them in, only to realise that they've shaved fifty grams off the 300 and kept them at the same price! Although the worst part is that I first was able to tell because the bag felt light... :/ And that's even though they've cleverly made the bag the same size as the old one, but made most of it opaque apart from a window at the bottom, so you can't immediately see that unlike the old filled-to-bursting cellophane bag, this one's only full part of the way up with a load of air at the top.

Honestly, it should go in the Retail Price Index. If I weren't pathetic I would have said they're now too expensive. (Even though I've lived through price hikes before, and relative to when I used to buy them pick'n'mix with my pocket money they represent a rather lower proportion of my income...) Stupid jelly beans.
quinara: Meg from Meg and Mog presenting her cake: 'ta da!' (Meg and Mog Meg ta da)
So, I've been quite exhausted recently, with the result that today absolutely nothing happened as planned. However, getting back in touch with a random piece of music editing software I was trialling ages ago, I did compose a scherzo/trio, for the symphony I am apparently writing? (Although the string parts are mostly a cheat and would have to be sorted. But the programme does let you do nice things to the sound quality, so it doesn't sound completely like a midified mess.)

ETA: OK, I can't get Box's embed to work, so here's a link instead:


I'm sure many of you like classical music (and amateur attempts at that!)... Enjoy!
quinara: Owl from Meg and Mog driving: 'Who let the owl drive?' (Meg and Mog Owl drive)
So, just in case you don't watch our comm and therefore have not had your flist invaded by teeming hordes of zombie graves (sorry?) the annual [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends Halloween Challenge is on! Come, take part, be Spuffy! It's literally hang-on-to-your-hats Spuffy creativity in the name of prompts and points. Of course, there's a leaderboard and cut-throat competition; but who knows if that drabble you fling off this time might light the spark of your next magnum opus...????

And even if you don't want to/can't play right now - just come and enjoy the surf of random Spuffy glimpses throughout the (Poe-tinged) multiverse!!

Of course, apart from this plug, I also have to apologise, because despite appearances of my endless posting, which will suggest that I am around, I am in fact tied up this weekend (as bloody ever) and like last year will have to be pretty crap in my participation and use online time to keep up with modly duties and support and making sure things are all right on a structural level. But I love you all and you all love each other, yes yes??? Do go and comment!

In general, the rules are on a sticky HERE HERE HERE!!!!

ETA: On a note to bore you all, though I should record it somewhere, my tinnitus has hit new lows since this afternoon that I am currently caught in the sound of someone running the hoover one room away. Amazing depth of field my brain has come up with (this distant whirring is of course overlaid by the usual high pitched shite, but that I can generally ignore). It is quite incensing. I hope I sleep it off.
quinara: Wesley looking angsty. (Wes swirly)
Did little productive today. Got orchestra this evening, but otherwise washed clothes and larked around on YouTube. Did find this though - a sketch from Children in Need years ago, where Catherine Tate as Lauren Cooper goes on EastEnders. It's not actually that funny - but! It is a wonderful case study in East End Estuary English (which is basically Cockney for teh yoof) and West End Estuary English (which is obviously an excellent accent we all like).

So, if you can hear the difference between the accents of the 'local' EastEnders characters and that girl wandering round causing havoc, you're doing very well. And know why it's just plan ignorance when people here mock me for sounding like I'm from Essex. (There is actually someone doing a PhD who's from Essex, and a professor from there. Don't let TOWIE fool you! But I'm not from there.)

PS. Apologies for the horrendous quality of the video.

PPS. Obviously, there are also loads of us on here from both of these locales. Let us rejoice in our differences!
quinara: Owl from Meg and Mog driving: 'Who let the owl drive?' (Meg and Mog Owl drive)
I'm a bit boring at the moment, because the new academic year has kicked off and everything is busy! But, at the same time, I am also proceeding further with my flat purchase and thus wasting lots and lots of time looking at interiors...

So, something happened about a year ago when I decided I agreed with everyone in the know(...!) that pastels have somehow become edgy again. Maybe it's the bronies, though I doubt it, but they do remind me of the world I inhabited in the early 90s back when you could be a child and no one expected you to like anything cool. Also they remind me of sweets.

But! They are difficult. So even though I now dream of having some sort of pastelly bedroom, I find myself concerned it will not work. Because it is a very fine line between faded death by ugliness/that icy blue or mint going very cold and unwelcoming/that pink like some little madam got her dad to go to B&Q and zingy tasty pastelly joy, where the room is alight with E numbers.

The key seems to be in the clever use of neon, which appear to be pastels' natural friends - or so says Pantone, so it must be true:

pastels and neons on some cards

But then the neon isn't quite neon, more like a very saturated primary. Argh! But isn't the combination amazing????

++ more evidence )

I also fear that the other key is a liberal and sensible use of white and pale grey, neither of which I can say I am naturally drawn to. Especially white walls; blech. I suppose this is the challenge! Because how can you say no to the 80s???

quinara: Spike drinking from a blood bag. (Spike blood bag)
So, something came up and I was inspired to write a fic. It may or may not be humorous! Giles POV, sort-of Spuffy, 1300 odd words, PG-13 for suggestiveness. It's the sequel/companion to Deliciously Self-Centred, which you may remember was about Jaffa Cakes, right at the end of S7...

Credit to [livejournal.com profile] hobbituk for the title...!

Dark and Fruity... And all mine!

The end of days was due, but Giles was a man on a mission. It had been three months since his last Jaffa Cake, and the time had come. When the groceries had first been brought back, he’d resisted in the name of decorum, but now he had the chance to make good on the promise to himself that he would have one last moment of pleasure before the apocalypse.

... )

quinara: Meg from Meg and Mog presenting her cake: 'ta da!' (Meg and Mog Meg ta da)
So, I should have been attending a conference today, but I wanted to have a break in the end, since it's WriterconUK next week and then I am on holiday! (An extended break, you might say, but not one that means doing nothing and faffing around in my pyjamas.) I was inspired by a post on [livejournal.com profile] rbfvid's journal which had pics of Emma Caulfield and Nick Brendon looking very Anya and Xandery for the present day.

There isn't much about the shorts, but I couldn't get this little scene out of my head, in which Xander confronts the fact he's hit the age of one of the flashfowards in Hells Bells. This could be from any 'verse where he went through with the wedding and Anya didn't die, though for me personally that means it's actually part of Turn and Face the Strain and its final epilogue. I am actually a Xander/Anya person as much as I can be pro anything beyond the Spuffy (although this fic has been kept Spuffy free just in case you want to imagine that it isn't obviously going on in the background). But anyway, its about 900 words, PG fluff, because there wasn't much else to say. It might well need a better title. Enjoy!

To Have and to Hold.

He was reaching for the remote when the déjà vu hit. ... )

quinara: Wishverse Buffy in a white frame. (Buffy Wish white box)
So, because YouTube has everything, I've been watching the opening run of Eastenders from 1985:


It's actually bloody epic. Heaven knows if it is, but it seems a hell of a lot more accurate about East End life than Eastenders has been for a long time. Everyone's all cold and the houses are all run down and if people aren't worrying about social change they're worrying about where their next bit of cash is going to come from. And you can just feel the creaking joints of the underclass where even if they don't like each other, they're all in it together (and living on top of each other) and no one likes the police because there's no one who isn't touched by something that isn't just a little bit shady. And Nick Cotton's bloody trousers!

Just finished episode 4 and my Eastenders knowledge is a bit patchy, so I can't quite remember the fallout of Den and Angie... But at the moment they're the most amazing thing ever.

It's all a bit stagey in the way of vintage Beeb, but I would just lap up the contemporary equivalent of this. Plus I think the ratio of minority characters to white characters is the same as it is now, which considering thirty years has passed says something about something. (Definitely can't help but feel "What's pease pudding anyway?" "Some kind of English dhal." is far more interesting dialogue than that time six months ago or whenever that Shabnam was ranting on eternally about how Masood couldn't get with a white woman.)

Anyway, like a lot of stuff from the 80s, it just feels like it's been made by people who have something really important to say and who won't rest until you listen. I love that stuff. Watch it!! /Reminisce!!

ION my stupid wanker internet keeps dropping for no other reason than TalkTalk are bastards.
quinara: Wesley looking angsty. (Wes swirly)
Not until attempting to buy a flat did I realise that it could be quite so difficult to spend quite so much money.
quinara: Cartoon Giles cleaning his glasses. (Giles cartoon)
So, I have been very entertained by this MBTI meme. Partly because I was always entertained by it generally, partly because this time I finally worked out what the heck was going on with the functions aspect of the whole lark. This page says something about it, but the basic thing is that the personality types are all based on the different ways that the four lettered attributes interrelate. (The Wikipedia page on each type in general gives some info about this.)

But the interesting thing is that I was googling, and managed to find someone's blog where they explained the different functions (as the dominant part of people's personalities) through Buffy characters. Et voila:


This person seems to have a nice blog and it is interesting (and if I know Wordpress they're going to get a pingback, so hi! I like your blog). But I am not sure I agree on their interpretations of the characters (and you act like you're shocked!). Their Buffy is an ESFP, based on the principles of horror stereotypes and Buffy's supposedly dominant Se (extroverted sensing, ie. uncanny awareness of the world around her). Now, I would never say that Buffy doesn't do extroverted sensing, but I think the thing that most occupies the way she goes through life is far more Fe (extroverted feeling ie. the desire to produce social harmony, as they have Joyce representing). Really, I think she has to be ENFJ (Fe-Ni–Se–Ti; driven towards social harmony based on gut instincts, increasingly supported by an awareness of the physical world and, god, finally, if really necessary, the application of rational judgement).

As for Spike... It has to be ISFP (Fi–Se-Ni–Te; driven by internal feelings based on sensory experience of the world around, increasingly supported by gut instincts and finally, when push comes to shove, sorting shit out.)

Anyway, these are the blogger's impressions of the other Buffy and Angel characters (they have Spike as ISTP - you just can't convince me Spike (Spike!!) is driven by rational judgements about situations. I'm not sure Spike has had a Ti thought in his life.):


I think Dru has to be an ENFP, as they say, and Angelus as an ENTJ sort of makes sense... But then passion does (/should) rule us all according to him and Angel is a people person, whatever he says. I could see Angel in general as another ENFJ; he and Buffy (and without a soul) just disagree about what harmony means. Anyway, now I want to type everyone! I've only got to Xander, who I'm pretty sure is an introvert, and goal-oriented and feelingsy and sensingy, so - ISFJ (Si–Fe–Ti–Ne; driven to learn from/build on the past based on a will for social harmony, increasingly supported by rational interpretation and, under extreme duress, a sense of likely consequences). I dunno; I think it works???
quinara: Wishverse Buffy in a white frame. (Buffy Wish white box)
Although, MBTI always comes out the same for me.

Quinara's Personality Type Results

Trying to find actually interesting assessments of INTJs is sometimes a passing hobby, because I've been looking at that generic shit for ten years. It doesn't help that Google is convinced it's the personality type for evil masterminds and the worst of basement-dwelling fanboy clichés. This page has some merit to it:


I think my favourite is '11. Stick to a statement after being proven wrong by facts or reasoning and an INTJ will treat you as an irrational idiot and everything you say as probable nonsense.' Because if you know you're wrong, why would you keep talking????

A couple of other quotes on Pinterest that (in the second case somewhat unfortunately) have a strong ring of truth:

I ALWAYS mean what I say ... I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

INTJs are surprisingly tolerant of the flaws of the people in their inner circle - but if you lose their trust - they will erase you from their lives completely

In conclusion: sarcasm.

ETA: Although, seriously, it took a very long time to realise that repetition can in fact sometimes be useful and/or necessary. Even if running gags are the most hilarious thing ever.
quinara: Buffy's sad-looking profile from Villains. (Buffy profile)
So, I posted about some fag ends fic earlier, but here is a project that was for today. I was hoping for something deep, but it's mostly just a bit of entertainment.

Set right around now in Summer 2014, at Dawn's grad student house somewhere in North London (maybe Camden?). Following a rough sketch of some of my other post-Chosen universes, but it's really not worth worrying about that. PG; 3.5K words; you know the drill. Let me know what you think!

ETA: Ooh, though I did forget to say that of course the fanon that Giles is a Chelsea fan has been shamelessly borrowed from [livejournal.com profile] paratti, [livejournal.com profile] ljs and Magpie (whose LJ name I've never known); whichever one of you came up with it back in the day for some excellent Giles-Spike banter. He's got to support somebody!

Whether there will be more winters.
seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam ... carpe diem - Horace Odes I 11

It's Summer, 2014. Buffy and Spike broke up a few years ago; now they're most likely getting back together.


1/1 )

quinara: Spike smoking on a crate. (Spike crate)
I wrote a fic for [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends, for the prompt 'the best is yet to come', which is apparently Frank Sinatra's epitaph.

The Best is Yet to Come

During is quest for the soul, Spike is introduced to the First Evil... It actually saves his life?

PG-13; ~850 words; generally angsty and stuff.

I haven't had anything else to post about that isn't sad, so I haven't been, but I've been annoyed about my lack of fic for ages, so I'm glad to have some! There should actually be some more tonight, because I am really that bored of my characters sitting around doing nothing, and I'm not sure there's any way at all that I can wank it for fag ends, so I'll be posting here! Don't get confused and think it's this one again. :D

It is very hot.
quinara: Echo from Dollhouse standing next to Wendy/Caroline (Echo purple)
So, Orange is the New Black S2 came out yesterday. I felt like I hadn't committed myself to anything fannish in forever, and the end of S1 really did give me a burning desire to see S2, so I got my free month of Netflix, got up early to watch it (prematurely, because June 6 in the UK actually means 8am June 6 when the whole of America is on the same day as you) and then came home early and stayed up till three to finish it. I am now mildly headachey and out of sorts for the rainy day today!

Here is a reaction post - it is mixed (to say the least), rather than squee, so don't let me harsh your buzz if you haven't seen it all yet or if you do just want squee.



quinara: Sheep on a hillside with a smiley face. (Default)

March 2015

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